As an "RIP" to Humphrey Lyttleton, here are some of his best jokes/double entendres about his radio show's (fictional) scorer, Samantha:
"Samantha's going out now for an ice cream with her new Italian gentleman friend. She says she's looking forward to licking the nuts off a large Neapolitan."

"She's popped out to visit an old gentleman friend of hers who's a notorious curmudgeon. However, she finds that if she butters him up properly she can sometimes get him to splash out."

"In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section."

And some more..

Samantha went along to the gramophone library earlier to collect the teams' records. It's pitch black down there, so Samantha and the elderly archivist have taken to searching the shelves by candlelight, which can be messy, so while Samantha passes down the discs, the nice man holds the ladder while he cleans the dust and wax off in the dark.
Record researcher Samantha has made one of her customary visits to the gramophone library where she runs errands for the kindly old archivists, such as nipping out to fetch their sandwiches. Their favourite treat is cheese with homemade chutney, but they never object when she palms them off with relish.
As usual, Samantha has been down in the gramophone library researching the teams' records, aided and abetted by the two kindly old archivists, Curly Smith and Chalky White. Samantha was saying she's been helping them rearrange their work rosters recently. Chalky was getting a bit worried that Samantha might reduce his overtime shift, but cheered up when instead he saw her shorten Curly's.
DJ Samantha has been doing her usual extensive research down in the gramophone library, aided by the kindly old archivist. It's hard work, and she says they both get quite weary, so the archivists have a fold-up bed to take a nap in the afternoons, and has provided Samantha with a comfy reclining armchair so that she can put her feet up while he gets his head down.
Samantha spent a few hours down in the gramophone library researching the teams' discs earlier, and took her little dog with her. She likes to dress the little thing in her own stylish canine clothing range, and the elderly archivists say they all appreciate her doggy fashion.
Samantha has to nip off to the National Opera, where she's been giving private tuition to the singers. Having seen what she did with the baritone, the director is keen to see what she might do for a tenor.
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As is customary, Samantha went down to the gramaphone library earlier, where she says there's been some sort of misunderstanding. Of late, the usually friendly archivists haven't been very welcoming, claiming Samantha has been rubbing them up the wrong way. She says she had to give them a good mouthful, and that soon put them straight.
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Record researcher Samantha visits the gramaphone library every workday, where she says she finds the old archivists like to indulge in petty bartering before they'll fetch her chosen disks. This could be irritating, but Samantha says she doesn't really mind if they want to dicker about five times a week.
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Each week Samantha goes off to the gramaphone library, a labarinthine maze of dusty shelves and filing cabinets. The place can be a little daunting, but the kindly old archivists know their way around and provide Samantha with accurate maps. She says it's always good to know they're going to offer her good solid directions, which they prepare by hand before waving them under her nose.
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Samantha has a new boyfriend from Wales . Nothing he likes more on a weekend than to take her away in his car to Bangor

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In 1066 the Normans invaded Hastings . It made for a confusing roll call in the morning


(Humphrey Lyttleton)