1 Free upright Piano. Will need some reconditioning to return to good condition, but is marginally playable (and horribly out of tune) now.

Here's how it will work. You and as many of your strong friends that you can Tom Sawyer into this job will come by and move the piano off my second floor (1 set of straight stairs) into a vehicle of yours. I'm not lifting it, or providing a vehicle for it. I will help you gently guide it through my house so that I still have walls after you leave.


Now here's the part that I know will be hard for people to understand:

I'm not holding it for anyone without a $100 deposit for every week you want me to hold it. Not even if you ask really nicely.

The first person to show up and take it gets it. This piano was listed once before, and you wouldn't believe the number of homeless dying one-legged Mongolian orphans that just needed a piano to make life better. I heard some great sob stories (probably all true!) about why I should hold this piano for this person or that person. Well, I ended up holding it for the first caller, who never got it. Then I held it for someone else, and they never got it. Then everyone was gone, and I still had a piano.

"But wait!" you're saying. "Why should I put down a deposit on something that's free?" Well, if you want me to hold it, you can give me a $100 bill. I'll tape it to the piano. When you get the piano, you get the $100 with it! It's like getting paid $100 to take the piano! You won't find a better way to get your money back - *and* you get a free piano! If you forget, or get run over by a busload of orphans on their way to get a free harpsichord, I'm going to keep the $100. Want me to hold it 2 weeks? That's $200.

"But I don't trust you to keep my $100..." Well, I don't trust you to come back and get this oversized paperweight. I tried that before and it didn't work.

"But I don't have $100 and I really want the free piano!" OK, just come get it! It's really that simple.

"But I don't have $100 and I can't come by with a truck for two weeks..." No piano for you! Life sucks; get a helmet.

I don't really want the piano. It came with the house when I bought it. I play the flute, which I can carry in one hand. I've tried picking up the piano with 1 hand, and I can't quite get a good grip. Please, take my piano.

So, if you want it, show up and take it! Simple, huh?

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After awhile, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result. Pretty soon, when any monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.

Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because that's the way it's always been around here.

And that's how company policy begins...

 

There are a number of people who come from the more traditional sales world who haven't yet grasped the power of social media.  You can tell them because they describe this as a waste of people's time, unnecessary distraction or not real work.


They say - why would I want to know if someone is getting on a plane or going to bed.  Agreed.  Neither do I.  Here is a great view on what to NOT tweet about. 

And they have a point.  Done in a random way it is very easy to become distracted by an interesting, but irrelevant tweet or blog. That leads you to another and another and suddenly the morning has gone.

However, the world of PR and marketing is being turned on its head by the power of the internet – i.e. social media.  The internet is working its way through industries, changing them forever; buying books (Amazon), selling your stuff (eBay), buying and listening to music (iTunes, Spotify).  Now newspapers are dying a death.


So the crux of Social Media can be summarised in 61 words (provided by David Meerman Scott  who had some help from Randy Kaipaniolo  

You can buy attention (advertising)
You can beg for attention from the media (PR)
You can bug people one at a time to get attention (sales)

Or you can earn attention by creating something interesting and valuable and then publishing it online for free: a YouTube video, a blog, a research report, photos, a Twitter stream, a book or an ebook, a Facebook page.
Earning attention

At Nimbus we’ve known the power of the earning attention. 5 years ago we wrote a book called Common Approach, and have sold or given (mostly given) away 5,000 copies in the UK and 30,000 copies in China.   More than anything else, that has built an understanding of how to drive transformation changes in corporations. From there it is a small step to Nimbus’ powerful process mapping and management application – but Nimbus is NEVER mentioned in the book.

This is SO important if you are an innovative startup. This si discussed in my book Why Killer Products Don't Sell. You can get a free book summary from Killer-Products.com

I have a investment in a publisher called Smart Questions.  The publisher is based on a couple of simple principles:

-          If you give someone a book they can’t throw it away

-          If you are an expert, using the Smart Questions structure, you can write a book in 40 hours (yes really)

-          Print on Demand means a print run of just ONE book is less than £8 / $12

 
The concept has really struck a chord and companies are writing Smart Questions books and giving them way instead of marketing material. 

Spin-off benefit for the planet: The books are kept (and possible read) and then passed onto someone else, but marketing material is trashed almost immediately.

So now we need to add blogging and Twitter into the PR mix.    So does it work?  Yes, but you need to persevere.  Be patient.  Earn trust. Give value.   2 tweets, a follow and then direct email DOES NOT WORK.  Those of you who have sent me junk email, and I have unfollowed you, you now understand why.

So does twitter and blogging work?

Dave Stewart, Eurythmics talked about radiators/drains on a national UK Drivetime radio show a few days earlier.  They searched on Google and my blog popped up.  Voila.   The blog is here  updating original one.    My bit is at 18mins here – includes a couple of non-PC remarks (no surprise there).

So hopefully a Radio4 presenter from a more business-oriented programme will listen and say ’We need to interview him’.    If not, no matter - it made my mum proud.  However, I’ve been surprised how many people have emailed me to say they heard my slot – either through email or on Twitter.

Another angle. 

Doug Richard of Dragon’s Den fame told a story about the Entrepreneur’s Manifesto he had written.  His PR team did an amazing job and got him an interview with the Financial Times. The journalist was initially dismissive saying there was no story, and finally wrote a couple of lines buried in an article.  Doug tweeted about it and with all the retweets it reached over 500,000 people within a couple of days.

The final word

But don’t think that blogs and tweets have replaced all other PR.  It is an additional channel, but requires a different technique. So don’t dismiss what you don’t understand.

 
 

Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics was interviewed on BBC Radio2 Simon Mayo Drivetime show and talked about "Drains and radiators".

So Simon Mayo interviewed me to explore it in some more detail.

Oprah Winfrey, when once asked what she wished she'd learned earlier in life said "I wish I'd known how to distinguish radiators from drains". 

"Radiators" are people who give out warmth, kindness, love, honesty, positivity, energy, enthusiasm and all the good things which people need and respond to.

"Drains" are people who are negative, downbeat, suck the energy out of others and don't like themselves.
 
So life's too short to work with drains ............... unless of course you're Dynorod.

So how does this work in practice?

Sir Clive Woodward, coach of world cup winning England Rugby team in 2003 inherited a set of players.  For a number of matches he was selecting on their match playing abilities - on their rugby skills.  But a training camp with the Royal Marines made him change his mind about team selection.  The Marine's words were ringing in his ears "It's not about skills. It's about atitude and the effect on the team. One wrong team player can sap all the energy from the group."

The ultimate test is going into battle, ie the Royal Marines. You're in the helicopter with 8 of your team going into a firefight. Looking around those 8 individuals you need to be very clear that they are the right people - energisers, not energy sappers.

So with sport the results are  very visible. There is no place to hide.  Win or lose. 

So does this work in businesses?

Yes it is totally true but decisions that could and should have been made about staffing are fudged and avoided.  There appears to be less at stake. 

Or maybe you've never thought about your employees in these terms.At Nimbus we hadn't. Until we had Sir Clive speak at a Nimbus Inspiring Performance conference.  We talked about energisers and energy sappers. Suddenly it struck us why some teams were performing and others not.  We took immediate action and let some of the staff go. The energy in the whole company soared. It is now a critical part of how we evaluate new hires.

So what are you....  And if you are a drain can you change? 

Here are 3 steps

1. recognise if you are drain (or have drain-like moments)
2. try and catch yourself once a day about so say something drain-like, turn it around and look for the bright side
3. do this every day for 21 days and you will be staggered by the results

Any if you are drain you REALLY will be staggered.
 

The Golden Circle: Why, How, What?

We all woke up in the UK this morning to a shock result – no result. A hung parliament.

As a sidenote: Think how things have changed from the election 4 years ago.  Where did you go first to check on the result this time.... tv, radio, (free or politically aligned) newspaper, Twitter, web, Facebook.  And whose opinion on the impact did you trust most?

So I’ve seen a number of bloggers and journalists saying that  a hung parliament can be made to work because it is just like running a business – it requires collaboration and compromise.

Let’s examine this idea in more detail.  What makes a business work?

-    A leader with decision making power: Even if they are not making the correct decisions, at least they are making decisions which sets the strategy or direction for the company. Examples of companies in turmoil are those where the leader has left and the company is left rudderless and there is fighting for the leadership position

-    A shared goal or some direction:  In the absence of any clear strategic direction, it is to be successful enough so that employees can continue to earn a salary. To win work and make money. Very few people want to see the company they work for fail.

-    A level of transparency: People try and keep politics out of business because hidden agendas slow down any real action. Why are smaller companies more nimble, have less bureaucracy and more enjoyable to work in.  People spend less time ‘politicking’ / managing their career and more time focused on the job

I don’t see any of these traits in a hung parliament. In fact it is the complete opposite

Lets contrast this with Nimbus where I am Chairman and CEO.

At Nimbus we have an Exec Team who actually likes working together. We work together and play together. As Chairman and CEO I am not a dictator, but harness the energy and experience of the Exec Team to get an agreed direction. We genuinely work in a collaborative way.

We've been together long enough to know what each is thinking, we have a common goal (profitable growth), we are not afraid to speak our minds, we are not fearful of losing our jobs in a Boardroom coup. That is refreshing and fun.

Remember – Life is not a dress rehearsal. We get only one go at it. So do something you enjoy.

Net result.  The company is performing well.  The Exec Team enjoys working together. That feeds its way down the company. We have a happy, high performing company which people (clients, partners, employees) want to be around.

“Very pink and fluffy – give me some facts” some of you may be saying. 

-    We have very low attrition.  The last person who resigned from the company, came back 3 months later. The resignation before that was over 4 years ago – so way before the recession.

-    2 years ago we look at the market and were concerned about a slowdown so we cut costs and very regrettably made some staff redundant. It was very painful, but necessary. Now business is on the up we are hiring. The first of those made redundant has re-joined the company. That says a lot for the redundancy process; sympathetic, fair, integrity.

- we don't need to pay headhunters to find us staff.  We have brilliant people come to us who want to work for Nimbus - often taking a pay cut.

There is a lot of research that a Happy Company produces Better Returns and a recent book by FT Press called  What Happy Companies Know spells it out

Happy companies are winning companies. Well-adjusted, psychologically healthy companies collaborate better. They innovate more effectively. They change faster. They see reality with exceptional clarity, but they know how to address it positively.

Does that sound like working as a senior politician in a hung parliament? I think not.

 

Below is a true (and very funny) exchange which I think sums up how easy it is to discount the value of experience.

It also illustates that email is only 7% of the communication. The other being 38% tonality and 55% body language.

Finally a picture (or pie chart) says a thousand words

BTW I am perfectly happy to give up time  - a valuable resource which is finite - to help people.

Start from the top.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Logo Design

Hello David,

I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something to show prospective clients this week so would you be able to pull something together in the next few days? I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page website. If deal goes ahead there will be some good money in it for you.

Simon


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.

Regards, David.




From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 4.11pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Logo Design

Is that supposed to be a fucking joke? I told you the previous projects did not go ahead. I invested a lot more time and energy in those projects than you did. If you put as much energy into the projects as you do being a dickhead you would be a lot more successful.



From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 5.27pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

You are correct and I apologise. Your last project was actually both commercially viable and original. Unfortunately the part that was commercially viable was not original, and the part that was original was not commercially viable.

I would no doubt find your ideas more 'cutting edge' and original if I had traveled forward in time from the 1950's but as it stands, your ideas for technology based projects, that have already been put into application by other people several years before you thought of them, fail to generate the enthusiasm they possibly deserve. Having said that though, if I had traveled forward in time, my time machine would probably put your peer to peer networking technology to shame as not only would it have commercial viability, but also an awesome logo and accompanying pie charts.

Regardless, I have, as requested, attached a logo that represents not only the peer to peer networking project you are currently working on, but working with you in general.

Regards, David.





From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 11.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You just crossed the line. You have no idea about the potential this project has. The technology allows users to network peer to peer, add contacts, share information and is potentially worth many millions of dollars and your short sightedness just cost you any chance of being involved.



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 1.36pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

So you have invented Twitter. Congratulations. This is where that time machine would definitely have come in quite handy.

When I was about twelve, I read that time slows down when approaching the speed of light so I constructed a time machine by securing my father's portable generator to the back of my mini-bike with rope and attaching the drive belt to the back wheel. Unfortunately, instead of traveling through time and finding myself in the future, I traveled about fifty metres along the footpath at 200mph before finding myself in a bush. When asked by the nurse filling out the hospital accident report "Cause of accident?" I stated 'time travel attempt' but she wrote down 'stupidity'.

If I did have a working time machine, the first thing I would do is go back four days and tell myself to read the warning on the hair removal cream packaging where it recommends not using on sensitive areas. I would then travel several months back to warn myself against agreeing to do copious amounts of design work for an old man wieding the business plan equivalent of a retarded child poking itself in the eye with a spoon, before finally traveling back to 1982 and explaining to myself the long term photographic repercussions of going to the hairdresser and asking for a haircut exactly like Simon LeBon's the day before a large family gathering.

Regards, David.



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.29pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You really are a fucking idiot and have no idea what you are talking about. The project I am working on will be more successful than twitter within a year. When I sell the project for 40 million dollars I will ignore any emails from you begging to be a part of it and will send you a postcard from my yaght. Ciao.



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.58pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design





From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.10pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Anyone else would be able to see the opportunity I am presenting but not you. You have to be a fucking smart arse about it. All I was asking for was a logo and a few pie charts which would have taken you a few fucking hours.



From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.25pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon

Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free. With pie charts. Usually when people don't ask me to design them a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model consists entirely of "Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website just like that", this non exchange of free services has no foundation as you offer nothing of which I wont ask for.

Regards, David.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.43pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

What the fuck is your point? Are you going to do the logo and charts for me or not?

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.02pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.13pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Do not ever email me again.

From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.19pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Ok. Good luck with your project. If you need anything let me know.

Regards, David.

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Get fucked.




 

We all want to succeed, but few people get the very special advice that L. Vaughan Spencer gives to his clients. Here he takes tea with the Economist